Friendships

Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose. - Tennessee Williams

Friendships grow increasingly important to ten year olds, although it is fair to say that there are quite significant differences between the friendships of girls and boys at this age.

Boys...

Friendships between boys tend to be fairly stable, as typically boys are more interested in what they are doing, rather than who they are doing it with.

As such, most friendships come about as a result of a shared interest so, as long as all parties continue to share the interest, the friendships typically bubble along pretty smoothly. That said, of course, boys will still have their squabbles and fall out from time to time!

Obviously problems can occur if your child doesn't seem to have a lot of shared interests with other children in their age group. Without shared interests, boys, in particular, may find friendships thin on the ground. If your child is seeming to struggle with making friends or seems a little solitary, this isn't necessarily cause for concern - unless of course it seems to be bothering your child.

Keeping the lines of communication open is key - keep conversations relaxed and pressure-free and try to gain an understanding of whether or not your child is happy with the status quo. If not, it might be worth suggesting that they try out some new activities - be they sport, music, art or academic. This is a pretty sure fire way of encouraging them to meet other like minded children to strike up friendships with.

You might also like to encourage them to invite other children over to play after school as this too can help cement friendships.

Girls...

Girls tend to have a tougher time with friendships at this age. Typically, girls' friendships are more complex and changeable. They will build intense friendships which seem to move and change at breakneck speed - so much so it can be difficult to keep up with who is currently in favour!

Whilst, for the most part, these are simply petty squabbles which blow over pretty quickly - they can be very upsetting for your child - particularly if the breakdown of a particular friendship leaves them feeling lonely.

Girls can be very cruel at times - while boys at this age may choose to fight physically, the war of words between girls can be much harsher and potentially more damaging. As such, it's really important that you take the time to communicate with your child and make sure you know what's going on with them and their friendships.

If your child is upset, try to acknowledge their difficulties and offer your love and support rather than dismissing any incidents out of hand. Whilst the squabbles may seem petty, it can be very distressing for your child if they feel that they are being excluded from their friendship group.